life.

things are still confusing and things dont make sense. living life a day at a time is something completely new and different to me and im not sure if i like it but theres nothing i can do about it so i just roll with the punches. im looking forward to getting out of rhinebeck for a good portion of january. ive realized that i havent traveled anywhere for a whole year which i dont like. since i have a good job and a lot of money now this is finally possible. ive realized that i need to be successful at what i end up doing with my life. if i dont i’ll feel like a failure. im tired of living up to other peoples expectations about me and im really starting to not care anymore. im the person that i am and you will never be able to change that. i hope things arent half as stressful and confusing after this semester. i honestly cant remember the last time ive felt this overwhelmed with everything in life. i see stress taking over my body almost in how badly ive been sleeping and how tired and burnout i am all the time. septemeber feels like forever ago and im finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. if i made it through last year aka hell i would think i should be fine. i only have 2 weeks of school left this semester. it feels like a short amount of time but i have so much to get done. im putting so much pressure on myself to do well even though i still dont even know what im doing after this upcoming may. is it me or am i crazy? keep your fingers crossed and wish me luck. here goes nothin…